I came home from work a few days ago and I was excited to see that my son’s lunch bag was empty, clean and on the counter. I thanked him for remembering to do this as I had only asked every day since the last day of school – 2 months ago. He stared at me confused and simply walked away. It was in that moment that my husband confessed that he was the lunch bag wizard. I was thankful that someone FINALLY emptied this lunch bag, heck if I was going to touch it. On the other hand I was irritated that our son had completely ignored my words and multiple requests to be more responsible.
I asked myself, why can’t they remember things I told them only this morning, or two hours ago, but without any prompting they can remember the exact amount of times that I have cussed last year.
They can’t seem to remember to follow the same simple school routine that we have established since Kindergarten (they are now in 6th and 9th grade), empty your lunch bag, put any handouts that need to be signed on the table and for the love of God start your dang homework already. Usually around bed time is when they remember about homework – sneaky little brats.
They inadvertently neglect to turn off lights or electronics when not being used, despite having been told multiple times a day since October – but they can remember the time my husband dropped all the grapes at the grocery store, two years ago.
How about chores? We don’t ask much from our children, put the clothes in the laundry basket, keep your room clean, make your bed and don’t leave dirty dishes in your room. Every day it takes multiple reminders for these simply everyday tasks, but they can remember every song lyric to every song on the radio or all the players in the entire NHL roster.
Here are 5 things that I wish my children would forget immediately.
1. When I promised to take them somewhere if they would just be quiet for 5 minutes, and haven’t actually taken them there yet. I did only say I would take them. I made no guarantee or representation that it would be this week, month or even this year.
2. When I told them that they could go to bed 30 minutes later tonight but they acted like little assholes all day so I tried to put them to bed early instead. But Mom, you promised we could stay up late tonight! Mumbles!
3. The time I smashed my toe on the corner of the wall and said fuck once – or a thousand times. That really hurt!
4. Every embarrassing moment of my life that they have ever witnessed. They will recall these stories over and over and will tell everyone about them. I’m pretty sure this is a means to provoke item #1.
5. The time you let them watch that movie because you didn’t realize how inappropriate it was at the time, and now they’ve already seen half of it or because you really just didn’t have the energy to fight about it with them.
What are some things that you wish your child would forget already?