I wanted to take the time to thank you all for reading our posts and following us on social media. The site is growing, and we have now moved to www.busymomdiary.com
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Happy Reading.
Crystal
I love that my husband thinks that he is clever and funny; it keeps me on my toes as I sit back and stare in awe at the words that often come out of his mouth. I have often muttered WTF? Did you really just say that? probably a few hundred times a week. I’ve previously posted about how my husband’s comments often have me struck in the moment thinking how much of a giant pain in my butt he is, but I secretly admire his ability to turn the worst of days into happy days filled with smiles and laughter.
Read the entire article as featured on Carolina Twin Mom: He Thinks He’s Funny – Three Things My Husband Has Said or Done That Made Me Laugh.
It came upon me last night, during another sleepless night, that my husband and I rarely ever go out – alone – without the children. I think, in part because we rely on a strict budget and because we like to over indulge our spoiled children with surprises as our budget allows. My husband and I come from the same family background, our families didn’t come from money and the small “extras” were always worth the giant smiles they received in return.
I often see over my social media about all the fabulous date nights and weekend getaways and at times have slightly been a tad jealous. We’ve talked about implementing a date night agenda, discussed the options and wrote it down on the calendar – but other important tasks usually jump out in front of us. It could be as simple as a slightly higher electric bill, pizza day at school or even an out-of-town hockey game that will quickly alter our previous arrangements.
I have to admit prioritizing date night has been an immense struggle for us. On our best of days, between dinner, homework, flyers, hockey and television, we rarely have an hour before bedtime to quickly review the current day and plan for the next. Our family situation has changed drastically this last year and date night was quickly tossed on the back burner.
In the last year, Rick was laid off from his previous employment and was shortly thereafter diagnosed with Stage 3 Lymphoma, our family had 8 overnight long-term hospitalization between all of us and we moved into our new home. It’s now more important than ever that we make one-on-one quality time a priority again.
After brainstorming and thinking of all the things that we love together here are the date night suggestions that I have created:
How do you and your spouse enjoy one-on-one time? Special plans for anniversaries or date nights?
Last week, my mother brought over apples by the bag full. I can only eat so many apples before I start to lose my dang mind. These apples while they taste delicious, they are bruising and turning brown faster than I can peel them.
I wanted to try something new, but a baker I am not. Then out of nowhere that is when I spotted a recipe for homemade apple sauce. It was perfect, the kids love apple sauce and it would be great for school. I grabbed the recipe from The Bippity Boppity Business of Being a Mom.
You Will Need:
Directions:
Peel and wash the apples. I used the Good Cook Classic Apple Wedger to core and slice about 9 apples. Toss them in the slow cooker with the lemon juice. Then add the rest of the ingredients and cook on high for approx. 4 hours.
I made one medium sized jar of home made apple cause and the entire family enjoyed it.
I remember distinctly the first time that my heart broke for one of my children.
My sister and I had dropped in at my twins’ 2-year-old preschool class to spy on them through the one-way glass. Inside the classroom were tiny tots laughing and bustling around from activity to activity. In the middle of it all sat my son, not laughing, not bustling, but staring off at nothing in particular.
All alone.
My insides felt as if they were slowly crumbling and I had to battle the urge to race into the classroom, scoop my child up into my arms and shield him from all of life’s hurts. Logic won out this time and I remained behind the glass, plastering a phony smile on my face so that my children wouldn’t see the hurt in my own eyes.
Thoughts began to swirl in my head: Do the other kids like my son? Are they kind to him? Does he feel like he fits in? Maybe I just need to chill and stop overanalyzing my children as I do myself!
Later I discovered that my son was the one who was considered “standoffish” (the teacher’s words, not mine). All of that worrying that had consumed me was useless. My child was essentially rejecting other kids, most likely out of shyness or lack of confidence in his ability to communicate clearly. Nevertheless, he was the rejectOR not the rejectEE.
This feeling of rejection is universal, isn’t it? Not a soul living in this world has ever had the good fortune to move through this existence without once feeling a sense of not belonging. Now that my twins are 4, I am fully aware that more and more, situations will arise in which they will feel left out.
So how do we help our kids navigate through these emotions? Vicki Hoefle has written an insightful article on the topic of peer rejection (http://vickihoefle.com/children-rejected-by-peers), and I’ve summarized some of her key points below:
Show faith. Kids need to know that we believe they will recover from the feelings of rejection, hurt and failure. Talk to them after one of these challenges arises. Listen to them. Empathize with them. I personally think that when parents share their own stories with their children, kids can feel less isolated in their emotions.
Support independence. This would be more of a proactive move than a reactive one. Vicki encourages parents to help their kids be self-sufficient so that they can develop the skills necessary to cope with rejection. Children who are overly dependent on their parents may not feel a sense of being in control of their lives and may lack the confidence to deal with everyday difficulties.
Model. Another terrific proactive move. I believe that kids are sometimes rejected by their peers when they behave aggressively. Vicki writes that much of the playground drama can mimic family dynamics, so by changing the way family members speak with one another, children can witness calmer alternatives to resolving conflict.
Now, please allow me to add a couple of “non-expert” opinions of my own:
• Watch your kid interact with peers. Is Sally a “close-talker” (old Seinfeld reference, anyone?) At a point in our lives, we don’t want other people to be up in our grill. I think this starts in childhood. Maybe Billy wipes boogers on other kids. Or maybe your child, like mine, is timid and doesn’t respond to others’ invitations to play. I don’t know about you, but if I were blown off over and over again by someone, I would simply stop making an effort. We as parents have a golden opportunity for a teaching moment when we observe our kids engage in one of these social no-no’s.
• Ask for feedback on your kid’s behavior from an adult who works with him. I recently led a group of boys at a one-week day camp who were 9 and 10. As is often the case, one kid became Odd Man Out despite my efforts to loop him in to conversations with his peers. He told his mother that he hated coming (no surprise to me), but I heard this from another leader after the fact.
Looking back on these sequence of events, I wish I had handled things differently. I wish that I had relayed the problem to either the boy or his mom.
This kid was acting flat-out bossy.
When it was time for the group to quiet down, this boy would shush everyone before the adults would. He would correct others when they botched a craft and would run to an adult immediately at the first sign of conflict with a peer. He always wanted to be the one chosen for, well, everything.
I had a delicate situation on my hands, but these are actions that can be addressed, more so than character flaws. Perhaps if he was told (in the kindest way possible of course) that he was acting like a bossy tattletale, he would have an aha moment and conduct himself like a friend instead of a narc.
The day after this camp ended, my children and I were at a playground having a little picnic. I watched a little boy, probably about 6 years old, tirelessly attempt to play with other children.
Unfortunately for this little guy, he was the youngest on the playground by far. I witnessed this boy move from kid to kid, trying to engage them. Although most of the dialogue was out of earshot, I could tell by the child’s body language what was taking place. This jovial boy’s shoulders began to slowly slump and he began to distance himself from these older kids. The optimism seemed to flow out of his body. He was being rejected. Repeatedly.
Then, something beautiful happened.
An older boy, likely just shy of hitting his teens, approached this dejected little guy. He asked him what his name was, complimented him on his cool shirt and essentially, made his day.
As the little boy’s mom called him to the car, she mouthed “thank you” to this exceptional young man.
Now most of the time, I keep to myself at the park. This time however, something compelled me to approach this boy. I had to tell him (in a non-creepy kind of way) that I had watched the whole interaction unfold with this little kid. How he lifted this boy’s spirits at a time when he needed it badly. How his simple acknowledgment put the wind back in his sails and patched up his bruised self-esteem. How he may not realize how much it means to a young child to merely be noticed. How witnessing his kindness made my day too.
So folks, there is still innate goodness out there and hope in this world for our children. Our job as parents to cultivate that goodness early on in all kids – ours and others. To build their confidence through encouraging independence. To be vigilant and aware of our children’s behavior in different circumstances and take advantage of the teaching moments.
Even though we can’t throw our arms around them and protect them from the challenges life hurls at them, we can do our part to prepare them.
What have you done to successfully combat peer rejection? What did you try that didn’t work?
Meet The Blogger: My name is Mary and originally from South Carolina. I met my husband, married him 6 years later acquiring a dream of a stepson (now 21), had boy and girl twins after 4 years and decided to say adios to my paying job. (I hope you’re not trying to do the math right now, because YES, I am no spring chicken!) With my children now 4 years old, I am still working at the most demanding but gratifying job I have ever had and WILL ever have.
Blog: http://www.carolinatwinmom.com/meet-mary-peterson/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/carolinatwinmom
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/carolinatwinmom/
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/nctwinmom/
Can I please just have 5 minutes? This is a question that I have on repeat and spew out hundreds of times a day.
From the early morning sound of the alarm clock, 5 more minutes of sleep, please for the love of all things holy! I’m not a morning person, and I have terrible insomnia so I really do need the extra 5 minutes – okay I often stretch those minutes into half an hour – but it really is for the safety of all humans that I may interact with throughout the day.
Then again when I get home from work, almost as soon as I take one teeny step inside the house, the dogs bombard me like they haven’t seen me in years. I need 5 minutes to take off my coat, kick off my shoes and hang up my purse. But at last the dogs are barking and jumping all over me with excitement. Sighs, fine! I stop and pet them to satisfy their need for attention. My dogs are attention-whores!
A few more steps inside the house and the kids will start with their stories of how their day was and I really do want to hear all about it, but not right in this moment. After a long day at work, an hour bus ride home, I’d like to just sit and relax in the still of the quiet. Ha! That will never happen. There is always “Mom, I need help with homework”; “Mom, fill out this form for school”; “Mom”; “Mooooom, there’s no milk!” – Who told them my name was mom anyways and is it too late to change it?
The constant questions never stop. I once thought surely if I’m in the bathroom I will get some peace. Nope, lately everyone seems to need me the minute I close the door behind me. I try to ignore them, but they keep talking. I’ll shout, “I’m in the washroom” hoping this will stop them mid-word – but it usually doesn’t.
Bed time – surely I can get 5 minutes to relax. This is when my children will argue over who’s taking too long in the washroom for teeth-brushing or they will remember the last-minute things they “forgot” to tell me about earlier in the evening – you know when I couldn’t get them to stop talking.
As I lay in my bed late at night, I have 5 minutes before I close my eyes and hopefully sleep; but here I sit and find myself smiling as I replay the day in my head. I remind myself just how much I love this crazy family and while they may annoy me from time to time, I am truly blessed to have them.
Remember waaaaaay back in school when your teachers told you that there was no such thing as a stupid question and that all questions were “good” questions and served a purpose in the quest for learning?
Those teachers were liars and are wrong. There is a question that is stupid…BEYOND stupid…and I get asked it all of the time. It is the question that makes a twin mom shudder and shake with anger and frustration. In fact I am so over this question that I don’t even want to answer it any longer. I am just gonna give the questioners “the look” and walk away as I try to not lose my cool on them. What is the question you ask? I bet you are dying to know now aren’t you?
IS IT HARDER HAVING TWINS INSTEAD OF JUST ONE BABY?
Ummmmmmmmm,….
Are people kidding with this? Unless your IQ is well below a 70 or you have had a traumatic brain injury- you get no pass from me on this question. Let me ask you? Is it harder to walk with only one leg compared to to legs? Do you find it more challenging to play the piano without fingers? Hmmmmmm.
Yeah….it is harder having twins compared to only having one baby…like a lot harder in fact. I have had a few single births and along came the twins and I am here to testify that there is a vast different in the whole experience. If you have ever asked anyone this God awful question, feel free to slap yourself.
Sickies…ya’ll get a taste…
Having a sick child is the WORST! You feel horrible for them as they lay limp and feverish in your arms. You just want them to recover so that they don’t feel so badly…and so that you can make that date night that is 3 days away. If you have more than one kid you do your best to run through the house for the next 48 hours with Clorox Wipes and hand sanitizer. The last thing you need is a sibling getting the plague and having to start this whole thing over! Sometimes you get lucky and no one else gets it…sometimes not. At least you have a chance though! When you have twins…no chance. If one baby is sick you can COUNT on the twin getting sick on the EXACT day that sick baby number one is starting to recover.
Running a quick errand…I think NOT
Gone are the days where you could throw the littlest baby on your hip and jog into Rite Aid for tampons. Unless you are a mother octopus or some kind of superhero it ain’t happening in the world of twins. Dear God. I have to drag the three hundred pound stroller out of the Suburban, then load the twins in all for TAMPONS! I mean yes they are a necessity and they also are one of Hazel’s favorite toys, (I know- super strange,) but quite frankly it sucks so bad. If this were the only stop I had to make in a day it would be doable. It never is. By the third of fourth time I do the stroller-twin-in-out-of-store routine I want to lie in the Rite Aid parking lot and wait to be run over.
So exhausting.
With twins nothing is quick, (except naps,) and easy. Twin moms everywhere live by the wise words of Brittney Spears, “Work Bitch.” It is our mantra.
Buh-bye money…see you NEVER
Kids are expensive. If you are a parent you know this all to well. Having a baby means spending a lot of money on a little human being. Having twins??? Double it. When I stopped breastfeeding and we had to buy diapers AND formula every week my husband and I almost died at the bill. DIIIIIEEEEEDDD. No joke-the formula and diapers cost 500.00 A MONTH. Just food and diapers!
Babies need new clothes for the season- double it. Babies need new shoes- you guessed it…double that. Babies are both sick and have to go to the doctor’s office where you have to pay the deductible on each baby- stupid…but double it. I am guessing that when they enter kindergarten and need new school clothes, shoes, coats and school supplies we will be taking a second mortgage out on the house.
Congrats mom…you are a spectacle
When you are in public and your baby or toddler melts down, you maybe…just maybe…can give him the hugs, love and cuddles that he or she needs. If your older child has a performance or a sporting event, you can probably handle holding or chasing around the little bundle of joy. When there are two restless warriors out in public… there is no chance for peace. It is nearly impossible to get BOTH melting down toddlers to settle in public. You might manage one, but never both. The chances of this occurring are about as rare as spotting Bigfoot…or sleeping twelve hours uninterrupted.
Twin meltdowns are loud and initially they will make you want to die right there in aisle nine of your local Target. I will testify that the more public twin meltdowns that you live through- the less they will work you up. You will build up a resistance and after a few years of them occurring once every other day, and you will no longer want to shrivel up and die in aisle nine. In fact, you will go right on into the dressing room and try a few new shirts on mid tantrum because… screw it. Seriously, I barely even bat an eye anymore.
Besides, we all know that you can’t just leave Target!
The Poop Parade
On twin has a massive blowout. You change her. You check the twin and she isn’t poopy…yet. Now you wait around to change more poop because you know when one poops- the other is not too far behind. This isn’t so much of a problem when you are at home- when you are out….say at the pool or the park…this crap sucks, (see what I did there.)
So yes, twins are double the cute, double the fun and double the love.
Some other things are doubled as well…
Moral of the story….do not be an idiot and ask a twin mom if twins is more work. Use your brain and ask her something else…like if she needs a drink or wants to bum a Xanax off of you.
Meet the Blogger: Kristin is a SAHM of four little ladies and one giant fur baby. She spends the majority of her day vacuuming up Shopkins and Legos and trying to keep up with her little blonde-tourage. In her sixty seconds of spare time Kristin enjoys writing, watching the BRAVO, eating cheese and drinking craft beer.
Kristin is a regular writer at Suburban Misfit Mom as well a contributing writer at Sammiches and Psych Meds, Bon Bon Break and Erma Bombeck’s humorwriters.org
Blog: www.fourprincessesandthecheese.com
Twitter: https://twitter.com/TinMcCarthy
FaceBook page https://www.facebook.com/tinmccarthy/
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As I write this, my two sweet little guys lay in their beds, dreaming about toy cars and Legos… I sit here observing the house…or what’s left of it anyway. Couch cushions on the floor from a torn down fort. Blocks scattered around the floor, because Godzilla attacked their mini city. I should be sitting here sighing because I have to clean it all up… but I don’t. This mess just reminds me of how much I love having two boys.
2. I Am a Superhero! – As the Geeky Mama, my geekiness is always peeking out at different times, but when I am around them, it comes out full force! I personally love all the Marvel movies and so do my boys. I am able to share this interest by dressing up with old sheets found in our corner closet. Tying the sheet ever so carefully around their neck so that they can zoom around the house with their long flowing capes. During this time I am not Mom… I AM SUPER MOM with my two trusted sidekicks!!
3. Brotherly Love– My oldest son who is 5, Christian, is being assessed right now for Autism and Asperger’s. He has a hard time communicating sometimes which usually ends up in a tantrum of some sort. I am thinking that my youngest is getting used to this. Many times I have seen him go up to his older brother and try to comfort him. This shows me how much he loves him. Watching the love between the two, really shows me the meaning of “brotherly love”…. Even if it means Adam has to sit on Christian’s face to get him to stop screaming! (True story…)
4. Twins– They aren’t twins, but having two boys, and no girls means this mama needs to dress someone up, am I right? This is the reason why their closet and drawers are full of matching clothes. I don’t do it all the time, but when I do… It’s pretty dang adorable if I do say so myself! Haircuts, shorts, shirts, socks, hats, all the same. My youngest actually loves matching his brother. It seems to be that since he hit his terrible two’s, he is jealous of everything his older brother has. Clothing included!
5. Mama’s Boy– There is nothing like having your child give you hugs and kisses all day. Even though my oldest doesn’t do this, I know in my heart, from his smiles that he loves his mama. Girls are to be daddy’s girls but since I have my two handsome little guys, they are Mommy’s babies… I love being able to teach them about chores and how women should be treated with respect. Nothing beats seeing their face light up when they see you.
Many people told me how hard it would be to have two boys. I was honestly scared to see what it would look like. I would never change having my baby boys. Two is definitely better than one!
Meet The Blogger: My name is Ashley, I am 28, with 2 young boys. Christian is my little shy gamer, who is 5 and Adam is my future football player, who is 2. I have been married to my hubby for 3 years! We live in Mesa, Arizona. I am an Expert Contributor for Thebabyspot.ca and a Regional Manager for the PhoenixKids.com Network!
Blog: https://thegeekymamablog.com/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/The_Geeky_Mama
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thegeekymama/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thegeekymamablog/
Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/+AshleyMartinezthegeekymamablog
Disclaimer: All photos provided by The Geeky Mama Blog
You may recall that I briefly mentioned that I would be reviewing the Game Day Box – well it arrived today!! I was super excited to come home from work just to open the box and finally see the awesome stuff!
The September Round Box included:
We were very surprised with the items that we received. The whole reason we ordered the box was for the Vintage Football!!!
How It Works: You sign up monthly (quarterly or yearly options are also available), you choose your teams (up to 4 teams from any sport) and each round the items will be hand-picked and delivered to your door. If you are a US Resident this is a fantastic deal for as it costs just $39.95 USD per month. I had the package shipped to Canada, and with shipping and the exchange rate is cost approx. $78.00 CDN. I have paid full price for this product and purchased it on my own with no endorsement or recommendation for the supplier of Game Day Box.
You can watch the unveiling video on YouTube: The Busy Mom Diary (<- click there)
If you are interested in the Game Day Box, please click the following link to use my referral code. It doesn’t cost you any extra. https://gameday.cratejoy.com/refer/Cryst-HUWCGRVS
This is a story about how our life turned upside down… This is a story about how are little family of three became a perfect family of four.
It all started in the April of 2004. My husband and I decided early on that we would have a second child and we didn’t want a large age gap between our children. We never imagined that we would get pregnant almost immediately. We had a positive pregnancy just a few weeks later. I was 4 weeks and 3 days along at the first ultrasound. Our due date was set for January 9th, 2005.
Read the entire article as featured on State Of Mommy: And Suddenly We Were Four
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